This is something I don’t talk about very much, so why I’m putting it on the internet, I don’t know. But I’ve had a long week and I feel like I just need to let some emotions out.
I got pregnant at the beginning of my senior year in high school. This was an extremely bad situation for me and my boyfriend, because, hey, we’re 18 years old, I work on weekends as a waitress and he’s a volunteer at the fire station, we can’t exactly afford a baby. Despite our awful financial situation, he wanted to keep the baby. I didn’t. I wanted an abortion before anyone but our families knew about this. I grew up in a small, conservative town in Oregon, see, and teenage pregnancy was very looked down upon and very rare. Eventually he agreed that this would be the best decision for us. But, when we told our families what was going on, they flat out said no. No abortion. You’re carrying this baby to full term, Sam, whether you want to or not, because abortion is murder. And instead of standing up for me and saying “Listen, we’re in high school, we don’t want a baby yet”, my boyfriend turned around and agreed with them. Told me that I should carry this baby, when just hours earlier, he’d agreed that abortion was our best option.
I was outraged, and rightfully so. I was forced into nine months of pregnancy, and word spread fast in our tiny town that little Samantha Johnson was pregnant, and oh, the things I heard said about me. My twin sister Lily used to come home crying because she’d overhear people saying awful things about how I was a slut, and when she tried to defend me, she’d get insulted too. Lily’s a sensitive soul who honestly sees the best in people, and doesn’t take well to insulting of any kind. I honestly think the worst part of this entire ordeal was watching my sister get shit for something I did.
I gave birth to Elliot Marie Jones on May 28th, 2009, and the next day, she went to live with her adoptive parents. My boyfriend was furious that I’d decided not to keep her, and he broke up with me a few days later. This all happened the week of my senior finals and graduation. Instead of my graduation being a good memory, all I can remember is the deafening silence as my name was called. Not even my own family clapped for me as I walked across that stage. Three days after my graduation, I emptied my bank account and my room and I flew to New York, where I started over, where I was not “the girl who got pregnant”. I was just Sam.
This is the reason I am so extremely pro-choice. I was forced into a pregnancy that I didn’t want, and all it got me was a lot of ridicule, from the same people who forced me into my pregnancy. Sometimes, a pregnancy is just the worst choice for everyone involved. Abortion should always be an option, and women should never, ever, be told what to do with their bodies.